1 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:18,500 Being here gave me the opportunity to reflect upon my life. And what I found 2 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,459 was incredible. 3 00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:21,480 For me, there's something bigger going on here. 4 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,320 There's a point where you just gotta go. 5 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:28,100 I have a lot of anxiety not knowing if my mom is okay. She was diagnosed with 6 00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:29,038 brain cancer. 7 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,980 And I know in my heart, I need to go see her. 8 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,920 So I guess I'm gonna just keep driving on. I'm not real big into quitting. 9 00:00:35,220 --> 00:00:38,100 Absolutely no part of me is tapping out that back. 10 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,680 They'll either come and get me one day and say, okay, you're done, you can stop 11 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:44,140 now. Or they'll medevac me out of here. 12 00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:45,810 I'm a tough Nebraska dude. 13 00:00:46,030 --> 00:00:48,470 I'm not quitting. I'm staying here no matter what. 14 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,050 This is going to be a bitch. 15 00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:53,410 We have to film it and we're totally alone. 16 00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:56,730 Nobody knows what it's like here except for the ten guys out here doing it. I'm 17 00:00:56,730 --> 00:00:58,570 going to get sheltered. There's nobody here but me. 18 00:00:58,870 --> 00:01:00,110 It's so hard doing this. 19 00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:02,230 I'm scared to death right now. 20 00:01:02,690 --> 00:01:03,850 I feel like I'm starving. 21 00:01:06,030 --> 00:01:07,530 I'm pretty sure I just saw a cougar at all. 22 00:01:09,010 --> 00:01:11,190 The last man standing wins $500,000. 23 00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:13,770 I don't want to go home. I want to win. 24 00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:17,960 It's the chance in a lifetime, but it's not worth dying over. 25 00:01:51,050 --> 00:01:55,990 I'm just trying to get things picked up, but... Holy crap. 26 00:01:56,910 --> 00:01:59,050 I'm used to high winds, but this is nuts. 27 00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:01,010 This is crazy nuts. 28 00:02:03,130 --> 00:02:04,130 Holy cow. 29 00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:11,130 No, this is too bad. 30 00:02:11,570 --> 00:02:16,730 Okay, uh... I'm gonna get sheltered. 31 00:02:17,390 --> 00:02:18,450 I'm gonna get to shelter. 32 00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:26,600 This is not me being dramatic at all. 33 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:30,820 This is not... I'm not making this up. 34 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:33,520 The wind is literally blowing me over. 35 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,300 It just keeps getting worse and worse. 36 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,240 These winds are coming off the Pacific and just ripping at my shelter. 37 00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:34,720 And I live in tornado country, so I know what it's like to be around high winds. 38 00:03:35,660 --> 00:03:38,200 But this is insane. This is a whole new caliber. 39 00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:00,020 Just getting worse. 40 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,480 At this point, I've lost all passion for being out here. 41 00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:13,280 I have no enthusiasm for any of this anymore. 42 00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:18,279 This place has just beaten the crap out of me. 43 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:22,280 Darving. 44 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,440 Mentally, I've just been donked just from being solo. 45 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:27,700 Seven weeks. 46 00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,420 I've been out here seven weeks. 47 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,220 This is the toughest thing I've ever had to do in my life. 48 00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:39,580 It's insane. 49 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:47,200 This place has driven me into the ground like I never thought it could. 50 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,360 Things aren't going to get any better from here. 51 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:59,320 It's only going to get colder and more miserable. 52 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:06,920 And meanwhile, I've got this beautiful wife with a baby in her belly ready to, 53 00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:12,180 you know... She's partway into her third trimester now. 54 00:05:16,340 --> 00:05:18,440 I've been out here for so long, you know? 55 00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:23,200 It's like... You just forget. 56 00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:25,160 Man, you forget everything. 57 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:01,260 The weather has just been terrible. It's been a high wind, hurricane force at 58 00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:08,180 times, 65-mile-an-hour gusts, and it just reaffirms the 59 00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:12,100 power that weather and the tide has on your life and your decisions. 60 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,320 I haven't eaten much in days. 61 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:20,560 This morning I felt like I would have a shot at getting some real food, but no 62 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:21,560 luck there. 63 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,900 We've got a pretty heavy rainstorm happening, so. 64 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,440 No food again today, which is kind of a bummer. 65 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:36,220 I'm just not into getting wet and not into getting cold if I don't have to. 66 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,860 And there's really nothing going on. 67 00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:43,120 I stuck my pot out the door, kept some rainwater. 68 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,960 I'm getting a little low on water. I haven't done a fire. There hasn't been a 69 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,020 use to, no purpose. 70 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:54,040 I haven't taped anything today. 71 00:06:54,570 --> 00:06:57,510 There's nothing to do. There's nothing to tape other than me just sitting here. 72 00:06:58,950 --> 00:07:00,470 That's it. 73 00:07:01,870 --> 00:07:02,870 I just sit here. 74 00:07:05,230 --> 00:07:10,470 My shelter is not even big enough to sit up in, about half of it. And the other 75 00:07:10,470 --> 00:07:13,970 half you can sit up in. None of it you can stand up in. 76 00:07:14,490 --> 00:07:16,750 And it's just long enough for me to lay down in. 77 00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:21,110 So it's about as confined as you can get, you know. 78 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:28,820 And being in here day after day after day, it's been terrible. 79 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:35,520 But we'll see how it takes out. 80 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,360 The storm is the worst. 81 00:08:06,580 --> 00:08:09,080 The wind hasn't stopped pounding. 82 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:16,120 I didn't get any sleep last night, it seemed. 83 00:08:16,340 --> 00:08:21,680 I just... The wind and the rain, it was so loud. 84 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,000 Just shaking the tarp like crazy. 85 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:31,440 Threw my rain gear over my sleeping bag just in case any... 86 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,500 Rain was dripping in, so that helped a little bit, I think. 87 00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:37,000 At least I'm pretty dry. 88 00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:45,720 Man, I can't function mentally in this state. I 89 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:52,280 can't think of what to do. I'm not 90 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:57,440 sharp when I'm this sleep-deprived and when I'm this hungry. 91 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,380 raging mess out there. 92 00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:08,620 Hate it. 93 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,220 I'm not quitting. 94 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,560 I'm not giving up. 95 00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:27,580 I'm staying here no matter what. 96 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,380 I will be here. 97 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,720 So, no chow today, again. 98 00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:31,200 It is still raining. It's been raining pretty hard. My feet actually got very, 99 00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:37,580 very cold, and so that's my main issue right now. 100 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,320 We'll see how that goes. 101 00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:48,680 The woods are kind of merciless. They just do what they do, and you either 102 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:49,920 adapt to that or... 103 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,360 They'll take you. 104 00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:56,340 I guess I've kind of peaked out in a way. I've hit my peak here. 105 00:10:56,580 --> 00:11:01,380 I didn't think about, honestly, about how long I could go doing this thing. I 106 00:11:01,380 --> 00:11:04,100 didn't know when I landed if I was going to be here three days. 107 00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:12,940 We got dropped out of helicopters and boats and float planes and a Pelican 108 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:15,540 case full of camera gear, and they said, best of luck to you. 109 00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:18,820 So? 110 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,040 This is home. 111 00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,540 We are here. This is crazy. 112 00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:25,260 I'm a complete lunatic. 113 00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:31,720 It seems like just yesterday, you know, just getting here, getting started. 114 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:41,960 I'm getting pretty dried out to the point I stopped filming with the other 115 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,320 camera, and that's what's frustrating. 116 00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:45,920 These cameras, that's a hole. 117 00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:52,400 facet of this that I just, I didn't realize how hard it would be to do all 118 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,440 this and try to film it. 119 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,880 Go to British Columbia, they said. 120 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,080 It'll be fun. 121 00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:00,520 Oh, it's beautiful there. 122 00:12:00,940 --> 00:12:01,940 Abundant resources. 123 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:04,940 This is day four. 124 00:12:06,340 --> 00:12:07,600 And I have this little stick. 125 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:14,480 I've been marking in little notches. 126 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:20,120 Because as we start getting into more days, I'll lose track, I'm sure. 127 00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:24,940 You either learn to survive or you don't survive. 128 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,840 There is no other dog ate my homework, whoops, forgot to pay the light bill. 129 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:34,100 You either figure out a way or you're toast. 130 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:37,440 14 days. 131 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,080 You either do it or you don't. 132 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,560 And then you move from survival to thrival. 133 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:48,800 It's dry. 134 00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:50,540 Dry wood! 135 00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:53,260 Dry! 136 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:57,640 This is impossible. I cannot work in this light. These conditions are not 137 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:02,340 conducive for my artistic juices. 138 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:08,120 And so now it's just time, really, is what you're looking at. 139 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:15,080 I noticed this morning when I put my pants on, I've lost a significant amount 140 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:19,580 of weight. I could probably put two fists in there from my stomach to the 141 00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:20,580 waistband. 142 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,980 Man, it's cold out here. I could cut diamonds with my nipples. 143 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,800 I miss at home thinking about my babies, thinking about Mama. 144 00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:35,000 I want to kiss them, kiss their little forehead, kiss their little faces. 145 00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:38,020 What day is it? 146 00:13:39,220 --> 00:13:40,220 The weather. 147 00:13:40,650 --> 00:13:46,450 The weather and the tide can make or break you out here for sure. 148 00:13:46,950 --> 00:13:50,270 You know, we're here at the worst time of year, man. We're here in the dead 149 00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:51,270 middle of winter. 150 00:13:51,950 --> 00:13:54,790 Yeah, part of me is like, well, I'm ready to go here. 151 00:13:56,210 --> 00:14:01,970 I tell you, about day 40, psychological aspects started kicking in on this more 152 00:14:01,970 --> 00:14:02,970 than they have been. 153 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:07,170 By then, you've done everything enough and you're into that. 154 00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:10,460 loop that everything slows way, way down. 155 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:16,020 Crawling and that last gasping breath as you're expending that last bit of 156 00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:18,160 energy. It's the same old deal. 157 00:14:20,620 --> 00:14:24,800 Like playing a repeat button. It's just like your life, my life, anybody's life. 158 00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:25,860 You get into a routine. 159 00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:27,660 You have a schedule. 160 00:14:28,460 --> 00:14:32,260 Mine involves limping some seaweed and boiling water every day. 161 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:41,220 You know, you just wonder, well, how long do I want to do this? What is 162 00:14:41,220 --> 00:14:43,640 enough for me? What is my finish line out here? 163 00:14:45,140 --> 00:14:47,200 What am I looking for? Have I found it? 164 00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:50,540 Have I done what I came out here to do? 165 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,540 My goal was to come out here and not die. 166 00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:57,020 So I did that. 167 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,940 I just feel totally separated from time. 168 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:05,260 Just like it's... 169 00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:07,710 An ever-present moment. 170 00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:14,990 No past, no future. 171 00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:16,710 Just now. 172 00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:22,450 When you come and you stand alone, 173 00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:26,550 it's all very real. 174 00:15:28,050 --> 00:15:32,830 And I still honestly don't know how long I have in me here. 175 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:38,520 I'm not trying to prove anything to anybody. I'm not trying to do this to 176 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,180 say, hey, look, I'm the baddest man in the world. 177 00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:42,580 Because I'm not. 178 00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:47,440 I'm just a guy. Really nothing special about me. I'm just your regular guy. 179 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:52,800 You know, I could just go home. 180 00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:26,150 I'm dehydrated. I haven't had food. 181 00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:29,230 I haven't slept in three nights. 182 00:16:34,150 --> 00:16:35,210 I'm feeling good. 183 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:59,520 I came out here to have an epic adventure, and it's turned out to be 184 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:00,520 pretty crazy. 185 00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:07,579 Now, keep in mind, epic doesn't necessarily mean fun all the time or 186 00:17:07,579 --> 00:17:10,500 painless, so I guess this does fit the bill. 187 00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:16,900 It just goes to show what can happen if you don't know the environment you're 188 00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:19,319 going into before you are in it. 189 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,760 I've been in it for a long time. 190 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:28,500 Landing on the island was like the coolest thing ever because you're in 191 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:32,540 this plane and then I shook the pilot's hand and then he's gone. 192 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:38,260 And you're just alone out there. 193 00:17:39,820 --> 00:17:40,820 Yeah! 194 00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:47,560 I feel like a mosquito in a nudist colony. 195 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,420 So much work to do. 196 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,100 Instantly, it's just the coolest. 197 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:54,620 Most fun feeling. 198 00:17:55,060 --> 00:17:56,680 Like, let's go get them. Bam! 199 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,400 Just found a rope. 200 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:06,220 And then in a few short minutes, it turns to... Oh, man. This is pretty 201 00:18:06,220 --> 00:18:09,380 wild. I don't know about this. This is crazy. 202 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,620 Golly. Day five. 203 00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:14,420 Michael Jackson glove. 204 00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:20,560 This is all a marathon. It's not a sprint. It's not in any way, shape, or 205 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,400 form. You don't need to rush. 206 00:18:22,970 --> 00:18:25,510 Timber. There's a lot to get accomplished. 207 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,190 Bam. 208 00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:30,230 Dead something. 209 00:18:30,490 --> 00:18:33,750 I was kind of running around like a chicken with my head cut off. 210 00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:35,350 Oh, yeah. 211 00:18:36,090 --> 00:18:37,090 Bam. 212 00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:39,030 Salmon. 213 00:18:40,710 --> 00:18:46,250 I think this is good for me. This is a good opportunity for me to really kind 214 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,210 of go into myself and find. 215 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,220 Find some kind of happiness out here while I'm alone, or see if that's 216 00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,900 possible. All night long, baby. 217 00:19:01,460 --> 00:19:02,460 Day 23. 218 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,580 I miss being around people on a daily basis. 219 00:19:09,820 --> 00:19:10,820 I miss my wife. 220 00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:12,220 Yeah, it's good. 221 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,520 Eat your bowl cup, kids. 222 00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:18,420 Bam. 223 00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:24,050 I didn't know how hard it would be just not having enough food. I've never, ever 224 00:19:24,050 --> 00:19:25,310 been so hungry in my life. 225 00:19:25,710 --> 00:19:26,710 Whammo! 226 00:19:28,350 --> 00:19:29,350 Mouthy feast. 227 00:19:29,510 --> 00:19:33,990 It's so weird how I'm changing mentally out here. I think I'm getting wiser out 228 00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:40,150 here, but there's absolutely no way to describe how you feel out here. 229 00:19:40,410 --> 00:19:42,890 It's the strangest, strangest feeling. 230 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,650 At this point, you're anything but normal. 231 00:19:45,950 --> 00:19:46,950 I look terrible. 232 00:19:47,070 --> 00:19:48,210 Holy crap. 233 00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:50,860 What the heck? 234 00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:56,200 Wow. Not good mentally. I am not good in the head right now. 235 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:02,980 Just how crazy this whole thing has been and how difficult it is and the fact 236 00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:08,600 that I'm just so isolated out here and that I just want to speak to my wife and 237 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,220 I'm just getting the crap eat out of me out here. 238 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:52,959 Okay. 239 00:21:06,460 --> 00:21:07,580 Okay. Okay. 240 00:21:21,130 --> 00:21:22,250 I'm gonna go to bed now. 241 00:21:37,010 --> 00:21:38,810 All my energy is gone. 242 00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:48,950 I'm getting some weird seasickness thing from this. 243 00:21:49,580 --> 00:21:55,000 Tarp just banging against my head and laughing all over the place. 244 00:21:55,660 --> 00:21:59,260 The noise, everything about it, the rain coming in. 245 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:06,280 I'm trying to... 246 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:13,160 I'm totally just depleted. I 247 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:14,480 don't have any energy. 248 00:22:22,060 --> 00:22:26,100 This is by far the worst set of weather I've gotten. 249 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,520 That's every last bit of it. I'm totally worthless here in this tent. 250 00:22:31,620 --> 00:22:34,760 I don't know if I can make it another day out here. 251 00:22:36,260 --> 00:22:37,260 Not in this. 252 00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:41,820 It's starving, but I can't go. 253 00:22:42,740 --> 00:22:44,940 I just hate the thought of tapping out. 254 00:23:32,590 --> 00:23:33,910 Hey, guys. Hey, there. 255 00:23:39,650 --> 00:23:44,650 I totally got my chops handed to me by this place, but it's over. 256 00:23:45,150 --> 00:23:49,250 There's absolutely no way to describe the feeling after you've been in the 257 00:23:49,250 --> 00:23:50,810 woods solo for eight weeks. 258 00:23:51,230 --> 00:23:55,650 It's just the most bizarre thing. It's not like real life at all. 259 00:23:57,130 --> 00:24:01,730 I always just try to tough things out, but it's just been a... 260 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:08,840 Slow, brutal decline of just losing passion for this, wanting to be out, 261 00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:12,140 wanting to be home, taking care of my pregnant wife. 262 00:24:12,860 --> 00:24:16,780 She deserves to have me home at this point. I mean, she's going through one 263 00:24:16,780 --> 00:24:21,720 of the craziest times in her life with her first pregnancy. She deserves to 264 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:25,520 have someone there to hold on to in times get really, really tough. 265 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,240 She deserves it. 266 00:24:30,190 --> 00:24:31,770 I can't wait to see my wife again. 267 00:24:32,310 --> 00:24:35,930 See how much larger she's gotten since I saw her last. 268 00:24:37,010 --> 00:24:38,570 It's going to be the best part of all. 269 00:24:38,870 --> 00:24:44,010 Better than showering, better than food, just talking to my wife. 270 00:24:44,210 --> 00:24:45,290 It's going to be awesome. 271 00:24:46,570 --> 00:24:49,730 Being out here is just a kick in the butt into adulthood, I think. 272 00:24:50,070 --> 00:24:54,850 It's totally grown me up tremendously, and I think it's going to make me a 273 00:24:54,850 --> 00:24:58,110 better guy and a better husband and soon-to-be father. 274 00:25:18,380 --> 00:25:20,820 So it's the morning of the 56th day. 275 00:25:21,780 --> 00:25:26,860 I was just walking around and I found another slug. 276 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,380 It's like all of a sudden they're back. Here they are. 277 00:25:31,220 --> 00:25:32,220 Yeah, there he is. 278 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:36,140 I thought they had flown south for the winter because I quit seeing them. 279 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:42,600 This is no average slug. That is a slug among slugs. That is the big daddy. 280 00:25:43,260 --> 00:25:47,400 So we're going to... Oh, here's another one. Look. 281 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,019 Oh, my goodness. 282 00:25:49,020 --> 00:25:50,160 Look at, oh, man. 283 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:52,040 This one is even bigger. 284 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,300 Whoa. This is awesome. 285 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,160 This is awesome. I have hit the honey hole. 286 00:25:57,620 --> 00:26:01,820 I wonder how many. There's another one. Oh, could it be? Is it? Oh, it is. 287 00:26:02,340 --> 00:26:03,360 Hi there, fella. 288 00:26:03,620 --> 00:26:06,120 My prayers have been heard and answered. 289 00:26:07,060 --> 00:26:09,160 I will find them. I'll find more, too. 290 00:26:10,620 --> 00:26:11,800 I know they're out there. 291 00:26:21,450 --> 00:26:22,650 I know you're out here. 292 00:26:23,270 --> 00:26:25,090 I can sense your presence. 293 00:26:32,190 --> 00:26:38,550 The best part of this journey here 294 00:26:38,550 --> 00:26:41,890 is further knowing yourself. 295 00:26:45,230 --> 00:26:48,250 The woods are spiritual, and they always have been for me. 296 00:26:49,010 --> 00:26:50,230 And I love it. 297 00:26:51,980 --> 00:26:55,200 You know, there's no rites of passage in our modern culture. 298 00:26:55,960 --> 00:27:01,420 And almost all people of the world had these rites of passage. 299 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:07,200 And they were a method by which people could go out into the world when they're 300 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:11,940 making their transition from a young person into an adult, do some task or 301 00:27:11,940 --> 00:27:13,240 spend some time alone. 302 00:27:14,020 --> 00:27:18,240 And the whole goal was to come back ready to be an adult. 303 00:27:18,980 --> 00:27:23,720 And part of what happened, is self-examination, a chance to know 304 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:24,720 yourself. 305 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,000 This will boil you down to your essence. 306 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:37,900 I'll tell you something. After several days of just living off seaweed, that 307 00:27:37,900 --> 00:27:39,060 was good to have a real meal. 308 00:27:39,300 --> 00:27:41,620 Yesterday was probably the hungriest I've ever been. 309 00:27:57,490 --> 00:27:58,590 Choppers are coming out now. 310 00:28:09,190 --> 00:28:14,430 At this point, I'm thinking, I don't know how long I want to do this, how 311 00:28:14,430 --> 00:28:16,810 long I can do this. I can just go home. 312 00:28:22,190 --> 00:28:25,970 You know, me talking to myself, I'm asking myself, what are your goals? What 313 00:28:25,970 --> 00:28:26,970 is this? 314 00:28:27,070 --> 00:28:28,090 that you're trying to do? 315 00:28:28,550 --> 00:28:29,950 What are you trying to prove here? 316 00:28:30,410 --> 00:28:31,550 I just miss life. 317 00:28:32,650 --> 00:28:34,250 I miss all of it. 318 00:28:36,670 --> 00:28:41,810 100 over 80, so it's lovely, Brother Tucker. 319 00:28:42,750 --> 00:28:43,830 Lowest it's ever been. 320 00:28:44,070 --> 00:28:46,450 Yeah. Probably the seafood diet I'm on. 321 00:28:47,710 --> 00:28:49,890 I've pretty much just lived it day by day. 322 00:28:50,430 --> 00:28:54,090 I came out here and I got into the rhythm of things and just did what I do 323 00:28:54,090 --> 00:28:58,590 in the woods, in any woods, in any situation. I just follow the same type 324 00:28:58,590 --> 00:29:00,810 of methodology that I've always followed. 325 00:29:01,250 --> 00:29:04,610 Can I keep doing this thing? Yeah, I think I can keep doing it. 326 00:29:05,270 --> 00:29:11,610 Before I came here, my wife asked me, talking about my biggest fear, and asked 327 00:29:11,610 --> 00:29:12,489 me what it was. 328 00:29:12,490 --> 00:29:14,810 And I said, failure, you know. 329 00:29:15,210 --> 00:29:18,770 And my wife said, well, what does that mean to you? 330 00:29:19,420 --> 00:29:23,160 And I never had thought about it that way. I never quantified what a failure 331 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:24,780 here would look like. 332 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:30,440 But it wasn't about beating another person. It was about just coming here 333 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:31,720 and pouring out what I had. 334 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:37,040 And once I have done that, then for me, that's my own victory. 335 00:29:40,620 --> 00:29:44,580 So, Alan, we need to tell you something. 336 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:11,340 Before I came here, my wife asked me my biggest fear and asked me what it was, 337 00:30:11,460 --> 00:30:12,780 and I said failure. 338 00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:18,020 And my wife said, well, what does that mean to you? 339 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:22,560 And I never had thought about it that way. I never quantified what a failure 340 00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,160 here would look like. 341 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:29,800 But it wasn't about beating another person. It was about just coming here 342 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,080 and pouring out what I had. 343 00:30:32,260 --> 00:30:36,270 And once I have done that, then it... For me, that's my own victory. 344 00:30:38,370 --> 00:30:40,790 So, Alan, I need to tell you something. 345 00:30:47,690 --> 00:30:48,950 You've outlasted everybody. 346 00:30:50,590 --> 00:30:51,590 Are you? 347 00:30:52,590 --> 00:30:53,590 For real? 348 00:30:54,170 --> 00:30:55,170 This is it? 349 00:30:58,190 --> 00:30:59,190 So soon? 350 00:30:59,710 --> 00:31:00,710 God. 351 00:31:00,890 --> 00:31:04,750 I was working on a spring guard and I was thinking, If I'm still here in the 352 00:31:04,750 --> 00:31:06,390 spring, this is going to be difficult. 353 00:31:08,750 --> 00:31:09,750 Wow. 354 00:31:13,030 --> 00:31:14,030 Man. 355 00:31:17,330 --> 00:31:18,330 What do you think? 356 00:31:19,130 --> 00:31:20,770 I don't know what to think, man. 357 00:31:21,250 --> 00:31:22,770 That's been something else. 358 00:31:24,970 --> 00:31:25,970 Already. 359 00:31:26,850 --> 00:31:27,850 Huh. 360 00:31:29,590 --> 00:31:31,170 All right, let's burn this place down. 361 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,720 You've got a ladder in your pocket. 362 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:39,920 Holy crap. 363 00:31:42,340 --> 00:31:43,580 What are you doing? 364 00:31:44,700 --> 00:31:45,860 Good evening. 365 00:32:08,140 --> 00:32:09,140 Are you ready to go home? 366 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:10,940 Yeah. Are you? Yeah. 367 00:32:11,460 --> 00:32:12,460 Are you sure? 368 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:13,459 Mm-hmm. 369 00:32:13,460 --> 00:32:15,820 Yeah, that is pretty, uh, 370 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:18,480 this doesn't compare to Holland. 371 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:20,860 No. It is nice, man. 372 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:22,880 Yeah. 373 00:32:23,060 --> 00:32:24,060 Nice trails. 374 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,280 You going to see my house? I'd love to see it. Thanks. 375 00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:27,960 Don't trip. This is really slick. 376 00:32:28,540 --> 00:32:31,760 Yeah, you go first. That way, if you slide, I'll get you. 377 00:32:35,660 --> 00:32:36,980 I'm going to progress a bit. 378 00:32:39,220 --> 00:32:42,300 This is my calendar stick. That's how I kept track of time. 379 00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:43,599 Each day? 380 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:48,580 Yep. First thing every morning, I'd get up, take my kukri, and I'd just live to 381 00:32:48,580 --> 00:32:53,980 put a new notch in it. Each one represents overcoming something every 382 00:32:53,980 --> 00:32:54,980 day. 383 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:59,140 And I know that was October 22nd. I kept track. 384 00:33:00,100 --> 00:33:01,540 How many notches do you have? 385 00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:02,760 56. 386 00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:03,920 Today's 56? 387 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:05,760 I put that one on this morning. 388 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:07,620 I do want to show you. 389 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:18,640 This is not the last time. 390 00:33:18,860 --> 00:33:21,540 Is there a pregnancy test in here? Not this time. 391 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:23,860 Do you remember when we were in Maine? 392 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,360 This is better than a pregnancy test. I went to sit down for breakfast, and on 393 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,720 the plate was a pregnancy test with a little positive thing. 394 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,080 You'll receive this one better. Oh. 395 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,240 I was happy last time. 396 00:33:37,300 --> 00:33:38,300 Yeah. 397 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,160 Well, pay the house off. 398 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:46,380 Is that what you want to do with it? No. What do you really want to do with it? 399 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,420 First thing I want to do is let Dad quit his job. 400 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:57,080 He's taken care of me all his life and Mom, so I want to take care of them, you 401 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:58,760 know, make it where they can enjoy what they got left. 402 00:33:59,740 --> 00:34:03,480 And me, I don't need too much. Maybe it's about getting Caleb's eye fixed, 403 00:34:03,580 --> 00:34:04,559 too. 404 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,860 My oldest son, he's been blind since he was born, and one of his eyes, so maybe 405 00:34:07,860 --> 00:34:08,859 we can fix it. 406 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,460 And then whatever's left, we'll throw at the house. 407 00:34:13,699 --> 00:34:14,760 Sounds good. Yeah. 408 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,000 You want this, son? 409 00:34:20,940 --> 00:34:21,940 Sure, let's take it. 410 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:30,840 We gone. 411 00:35:05,100 --> 00:35:06,100 See you later. 412 00:37:23,990 --> 00:37:28,490 It's the first time I've operated any type of machine since all that started. 413 00:37:30,230 --> 00:37:35,050 I think I'll come away from this looking at everything in a totally different 414 00:37:35,050 --> 00:37:36,050 light. 415 00:37:37,410 --> 00:37:39,310 Family and friends. 416 00:37:40,570 --> 00:37:41,570 Food. 417 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,760 and how we consume it. 418 00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:48,060 And even little things, you know, that we take for granted in our daily lives, 419 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:51,640 like being able to turn a knob and clean water comes out. 420 00:37:52,780 --> 00:37:58,800 I've had a lot of time, just on a spiritual level, to analyze, you know, 421 00:37:58,820 --> 00:38:00,600 myself, my life, where I'm at. 422 00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:06,660 You know, one of my main priorities is being a father, and that's what I want 423 00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:08,020 to be, and I want to be a good one. 424 00:38:36,610 --> 00:38:37,770 I've been in the wood. 425 00:38:43,850 --> 00:38:46,230 Oh, the things we take for granted in life. 426 00:38:49,150 --> 00:38:50,150 What do you think? 427 00:38:50,290 --> 00:38:51,850 It's the little bitty stuff. 428 00:38:54,770 --> 00:38:57,070 We're going to need somebody to hold the bag just like that. 429 00:38:58,490 --> 00:39:00,310 You hold it like that. 430 00:39:03,050 --> 00:39:04,850 We are survival machines. 431 00:39:05,070 --> 00:39:09,790 My good friend Dave Connell said that to me. 432 00:39:11,010 --> 00:39:12,050 I like him. 433 00:39:12,490 --> 00:39:16,690 He said that. We are survival machines, and I never thought about it, but when 434 00:39:16,690 --> 00:39:19,690 you look at human creatures, we are survival machines. 435 00:39:19,950 --> 00:39:23,410 Look at what the human spirit can do. 436 00:39:23,630 --> 00:39:29,650 I mean, you hear about these people that overcome just insurmountable odds and go 437 00:39:29,650 --> 00:39:33,630 through traumatic injuries, and they just... persevere and they just gut 438 00:39:33,630 --> 00:39:35,350 through it. You know, we're amazing. 439 00:39:35,610 --> 00:39:37,330 You know, we're amazing creations. 440 00:39:37,750 --> 00:39:38,750 See the holes in it? 441 00:39:39,390 --> 00:39:41,170 Do you know what happened to it? 442 00:39:41,490 --> 00:39:44,990 A bug came in and ate it. Not a bug, a slug. 443 00:39:45,970 --> 00:39:47,270 They're kind of like a bug. 444 00:39:47,730 --> 00:39:51,150 While I was gone, I ate a bunch of them on the island. 445 00:39:51,610 --> 00:39:53,310 I thought they tasted really good. 446 00:39:55,970 --> 00:39:58,470 Sure, there's those periods of adaptation. 447 00:39:59,310 --> 00:40:00,530 You kind of hit a wall. 448 00:40:01,100 --> 00:40:04,840 But then once you tune in to the new surroundings and things just start 449 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:06,500 clicking, you just kind of adapt. 450 00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:09,200 We're amazing. 451 00:40:10,020 --> 00:40:12,440 People are just amazing. We just don't realize it. 452 00:40:13,820 --> 00:40:18,640 It's all in there. You just have to get the right stimuli to bring it out of you 453 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:19,640 to tap into it. 454 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:27,440 Yeah, there's nothing like some time in the woods to really put life in 455 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:30,780 perspective for you, I tell you. Still got some over here we need to finish. 456 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:32,480 You got to get quiet. 457 00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:37,700 But I tell you, you know, time in the woods also makes you appreciate society. 458 00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:43,000 You're not meant to be isolated or alone for a long period of time. 459 00:40:43,420 --> 00:40:46,080 It's just not in our DNA. It's not how we're wired. 460 00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:47,700 We've got some more over here. 461 00:40:50,460 --> 00:40:53,320 There's really no place like home. There's no substitute for that. 462 00:41:02,990 --> 00:41:09,370 that we make so much drama about don't mean a hill of beans because we're all 463 00:41:09,370 --> 00:41:11,330 just passing through for a short time. 464 00:41:12,870 --> 00:41:17,730 And the stuff that we have all this anxiety and drama about and argue over 465 00:41:17,730 --> 00:41:19,510 means nothing. 466 00:41:22,290 --> 00:41:24,730 In the end, it only comes down to love. 467 00:41:27,530 --> 00:41:32,330 That's really the only legacy you've got, I think, that lasts. 468 00:41:33,930 --> 00:41:37,110 The love you show your children, the love you show your friends, that carries 469 00:41:37,110 --> 00:41:38,710 on. That ripples throughout eternity. 470 00:41:40,490 --> 00:41:42,350 The rest of it's just rubbish.